In one of the practices I worked at, it was standard protocol that whenever a new patient came in, they would see the dentist first after getting their full set of xrays completed.  I know I'm in trouble if I can hear the assistant having a hard time with them.  In this particular case, I could hear the aggravation in the assistants voice when she spoke to him and I was curious as to what the problem was.  After she completed the xrays, she came up to me and told me that this new patient had a GIANT hole in the crotch of his pants AND he wasn't wearing any underwear.  Not only that but he seemed to think it was funny and sat spread eagle in the chair.  So, he has a seat in my chair and I could tell that he was high on drugs.  I was trying to keep my composure and discuss his brushing and flossing habits but it was very hard knowing his carbuncles were resting on my chair.  In the middle of his cleaning he busted out laughing at the cartoons he was listening to.  I about had a coronary because when someone moves like that I think I've cut a jugular or something and it makes me jump. Needless to say, the dental office is NOT the place to free Willy if you know what I mean.